This had to have been one of the scariest things I have ever done. Sitting in front of ten children and telling them their whole lives are about to change. That I am moving them from everything they know. That I will be their sole caregiver. That they will have to leave behind all the amazing relationships they have formed at the GLA Toddler House. I was terrified that they wouldn’t want me, and that I wouldn’t be able to be all that they need. I stood before ten children that have trust issues, that have seen the ugly side of humanity and that have been abused at their previous orphanage by people that promised to care for them.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
The same promise I was standing in front of them making. I stood before them and told them that I will be here, that I am committed to them and that I will give every ounce of what I have to protect them in this life. They looked back and me. Some smiled, some cheered, and some just stared.
The questions came six at a time. “What can I call you?” “Who will do my hair?” “Can I have my own lunchbox?” and so many more. I answered fun questions, I answered hard questions and as hours went on I realized I soon had ten perfect children hovering within inches of me, some of them on my lap and some just reaching out and putting their hand on my shoulder as more thoughts came into their minds. Their thoughts, their questions and their emotions were so raw.
My sweet, tenderhearted youngest sat with not much to say. I knew it was so much to take in and that his mind was running. We caught eyes and his started to well up. I asked him how he was and he just tucked in under my arm. I asked him if he had any questions and he simply tucked in tighter. A perfect world would never ask a seven year old to go through what he has gone through. A perfect world would never make a child an orphan.
His world has been rocked over and over and he has many burdens to carry. He has been hurt in ways no one should hurt. He has seen and heard things no one should see or hear. His heart was heavy. Time continued to move on as he got more comfortable leaning into me and finally he was ready. He built up the confidence to ask it. He looked at me and said in front of the other nine, “Will you tuck me in at night time?”
I will… I will tuck him in at night time.